I walked home tonight and had a good conversation with God. I really hope that his is a beginning of a heart change for me and that I will remember it is not about me.
This is how my blog would have started before tonight:
So, I am just not really sure about this Christian dating thing. I just don't know about the whole "love them as a sister in Christ first." I'm sure it works, but I just don't get it and I wish it was as easy as secular dating.
That would be the intro piece into the blog post where I not only would vent my frustration on the aforementioned subject, but also as a feeble attempt to "test the waters" with a certain blog reader, but that's not how it started.
I see the world a bit differently now and the role I play in it. It really is not about of me, it is all about Him and His will. If that means that I am going to be single for a while longer and that I have to suck it up and work hard in my classes; that is what I am going to do.
As much as I really would like to be in a relationship right now, God has made it clear that right now a relationship would not be in service to Him. That kind of sucks for me, but God has been good and I am no longer afraid of being single. I did not even acknowledge last year, or even more accurately, realize that I was afraid of being single again and that did shape my actions significantly.
As for school, I just have to start doing it again; plain and simple.
One other thing. Listening to Ashley speak at IV this past Thursday, I finally realized that doubting is not a sin and to wish it away as those huge supermarket door-fans send flies away is not the way to look at life. Doubt will come and go, the only thing that matters is perseverance and obedience.
To sum things up nice and cliche-y, right now I need to run the race with endurance and focus only on the road ahead.
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4 comments:
First off, I love the way you punctuate. I would kill for that gifting. Second,thanks for listening to God and I think you are doing great so far. Third...I don't have a third. Sometimes one and two is good enough.
Listen, son.
You are awesome.
That's all I have to say.
wishing i had the strength
sometimes i can't even see straight
my head spins in all directions my friend
nice to know you've got things going
I'm Proud of you Erik. Its hard for a lot of people to realize that. The ability to question God is a hard thing to learn. In the book of Job its all about being obedient and faithful while still questioning God. Great stuff
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